Kids.

Everyone always assumes that I love kids. Yes, I was an early childhood major. Yes, I teach kindergarten. Yes, I am good with kids. No, I do not love all kids. People think because I spend all day everyday with 17 five year olds, that I have this super high tolerance for kids. This, my friends, is incorrect.

Dad and I went to El Jalisco's tonight for dinner. We were not even two chips into our meal when I heard what sounded like my class of 17 on the other side of the restaurant (it was probably only 5). Over and over and over they were yelling, singing, screaming, and many more synonyms for being plain obnoxious. Even Dad, who is deaf, couldn't stand the obnoxiousness.

This annoys me for many reasons. First, this is a restaurant, not a McDonalds playground. Second, these girls were old enough to know better. Third, their parents were sitting in the next booth over boozing. I am all for parent time, but leave the kids home with a baby sitter. I am also all for taking your kids to dinner, but sit them at a table with you.

Being a kindergarten teacher does give me patience. However, this patience only extends so far. It also only extends for my 17 kids whom I love and adore (and any relatives, family friends, or friends' relatives). Strangers' kids, I do not care for. In K4, when you do something that may break my patience there is a little thing I like to call the "thinking chair." I cannot put your singing at the table child in the thinking chair. I cannot pull your throwing chips across the table child's card. I cannot write up and suspend your running around the table playing musical chairs child.

So, from someone who does have a lot of patience for children, get a hold of your kids. If this is how I feel, just think about how everyone else feels.

Operation Get Tan.

I cannot stand not being tan. When I am tan I feel amazing. I feel prettier, skinnier, and just better. I am not very fair skinned, but I do lose my tan in the winter. While I have been sunburned in the past, I rarely wear sunscreen, because frankly, I do not burn that badly. I tend to tan within 5 minutes of being outside. So, why wasn't that the case yesterday?

I am on spring break from school, so mom and I went to Hilton Head for the week. It was gorgeous out yesterday. About 75 and breezy on the beach. We went out at about 11:30. I sat in my chair playing on my blackberry and listening to my ipod. At about 2, we wandered up to the Dunes House and ate a little lunch. By the time we were back on the beach at 3, it was freezing so we went home.

It wasn't until I took my swimsuit off that I realized Operation Get Tan turned into Operation I Should Have Worn Sunscreen then even later turned into Operation I Am A Lobster.

Now I know how all my pale friends feel. I never understood how someone could get the craziest burn in stripes. Like, the sun is hitting your whole leg? Well, looking at my legs, I now understand shit happens. My thighs and shins are RED, while my knees are still white. Everything hurts. It hurts to wear clothes. It hurts to not wear clothes. It hurts to sit, stand, walk, and lay. It basically hurts to breathe.

I vow from here on out, I will always wear at least SPF 4.

Yes, I had a bathing suit on. You just cannot see it in the picture.

Spring Fling.

This weekend was Spring Fling at PC. I spent the weekend in Clemson, drunk, at a concert, much like I did last year at PC's Spring Fling.

Every year, PC has a band come to play. Last year it was some 80's cover band. This may not sound like a blast, but like every other event ever held at PC, it meant a cash bar. A blast. Here are a few moments to recap Spring Fling last year at PC.

The roommates and I all went to the concert. It was at the stadium. Jcrew made best friends with the bartender for us. We were well on our way to a certain level of party that we hadn't seen in a while. We rocked out to cover tunes and had a photo shoot in the bathroom. We made our way back to the townhouse, where certain roommates went to sleep. That wouldn't hold me and Jcrew down. We went and sat in my brand new 4runner. (dont worry, it was parked) We sat there for at least 30 minutes JAMMING out to Justin Bieber. When that was over, we made our way over to another townhouse, where I was eating raw greenbeans straight from the can. In the meantime, Jcrew's big sister managed to wake our sleeping roommate. Jcrew is coming up this weekend and I think I see some major Justin Bieber in our future.

Us at Spring Fling

Kids Say The Darndest Things..

Over the past few weeks I have been completely stressed out at school and at home. It is written all over my face, too. I have never broken out this much in my life. Thank goodness for mom and Jcrew for getting me through the past few weeks. Another thing that does help, is the large amount of ridiculous things my kids say. Here are a few.

1. This was is actually funny and heartbreaking once you think about it. Today, I was taking my kids to the bathroom before we went to the classroom (I pick them up in the cafeteria). My principal was standing in the hallway, where she is normally looming. I have a dear dear child, Bre'Niya, who is wild beyond belief. Over the past couple of weeks, she has spent a bit of time in the principal's office. Sister says to me as Bre'Niya runs up and down the hallway, "Miss Laskowski, you know that she told me she's changing her name." I laughed, only half paying attention, trying to figure out how to chill Bre'Niya out, "To what?" To this Sister responded, "To Bre'Niya Laskowski." I laughed it off, but no, I will not be adopting good old Bre'Niya.

2. Also from Bre'Niya.. "Miss Laskowski, I called my mom Brittany the other day. Oooo she got so mad. She said she won't be my mother anymore if I call her Brittany. I guess I better call her mom.

3. After taking about 10 minutes to get my kids to chill out, sit down, and eat lunch, I started to pass out their food (we eat in the classroom, yes, I hate it). I was probably at the point where I had passed all the food out and had moved on to ketchup. I was not smiling and probably breathing deep. Tyshawn whispers to the person next to him, "whoa, she must be mad. I wonder what they did?" Umm.. THEY?! They?! Really? Not you? Okay.

4. Another teacher at the school was in my room. She is black. One girl said "Hey! You guys are twins." Clearly, we both laughed and said "no." She responded, "YES! You both got your hair down." Well, if that makes us twins, I guess I am related to everyone in the world. This was followed up the next day with, "You and Miss Kisha aren't twins anymore because she has her hair up and yours is different." Whew, good. I can't handle another sibling.

Crazy Nana.

I cannot believe it has been a year since we lost the greatest lady in the whole world. Such a long year it has been. Not a day goes by that I don't think of her and the crazy things she did. Here are some of the top things.

1. Nana loved to cook. Everything was always delicious. Except that one time, when I bit into my chicken cutlet and between the breading and the chicken. I don't think I ever ate another one after that.

2. We all know about the Spanish Channel, but Nana was the only person in Greenville County to get the Italian Channel. She never understood how the Italian language could change so much that she couldn't understand it anymore. Well, that's because it was Spanish.. not Italian.

3. Only Nana could get away with calling people their incorrect name. Alex was always Alec and Kaylin was always Kaitlin.

4. No matter what broke in her house, I was the only person she would let fix it. It could be a month before I would be coming home from school, but she still waited for me to fix her radio, answering machine, or clock.

5. No matter the holiday, each grandchild received a card with $5 in it. And whenever we left her house, she made sure to give us a $5, even if it meant giving us a roll of nickels.

6. Nana always spent exactly $100 on each grandchild's Christmas presents. She would buy one thing, then put the exact rest of the $100 in a box and wrap that up and give it to them. So we'd each get two presents. One actual present. One box of the change from the $100.

7. Dad's Jeep's back doors don't unlock until the driver door is open. This meant every time she rode in the car, she spent 3 minutes trying to get out, yelling "Steve! Steve! I can't get out!"

8. Nana only ate ribs and french fries once a year, or so she wanted us all to think. About once a month at dinner, Nana would order ribs and fries. Every time it was accompanied with, "oh my goodness, I haven't had this is forever!" Really, Nana? You didn't just have that last month? Okay, Crazy.

Puppy No Name.

It was a warm and sunny Thursday over at St.A's, and like most other days, I was in the school parking lot taking a quick break before I went back to dial 3 testing (tests that applicants to the K3 and K4 program must take to get into the school). Our classrooms open right up to the parking lot, and while this is not a very safe set up, it is wonderful on warm days when you need a little sunshine to brighten your day, as I did for many reasons I wont get into on this blog post. 

While this was seeming to be a pretty normal Thursday in K4, around 2pm, I was faced with what I thought of at that moment as a life-altering decision. Right outside my classroom door (which was open) sat a little brown and black dog. Trying to walk past was the first grade class, the first grade teacher, the safety coordinator, and the school secretary. I would like to stress where I described this dog as LITTLE. Well, apparently, the list of people I just listed found the dog to be threatening and vicious. Being the animal lover I am, I had to step in. These poor first graders needed to get to the bathroom. The dog looked clean, was rolling on his back, and had a collar (nothing threatening at all). I went to the dog, who had no tags, and the school secretary started yelling something about rabies and animal control. All I heard was "We're gonna kill that little dog Miss Laskowski. Save him!" So, I did. I put that dog in my car and saved his little life.

Ever since I can remember, Chrissy has tried to get mom to get us a puppy, so she was the first person I bbm'd. "Chris, mom is gonna kill me, but I'm taking home a stray dog." She was ecstatic. Mom, not so much. However, she was not mad and did not kill me. The little dog and Max (big dog) got along well. Max did trample him a few times, not on purpose, but how can you not trample little dogs when you weigh 150 pounds? I took him to the vet to see if he was microchipped. He was not. Nor was he neutered. I posted an ad in the newspaper, which went unanswered. No one wanted this sweet little dog, who turned out to be between 1-2 years old, not the puppy we originally thought. 

While I was not attached to this dog in the least, my brother and sister both were. They gave the dog an identity crisis with the many names they tried out, Pockets, Paco, Antonio, and Buddy to name a few. Mom and I stuck to little dog or the occasional little guy.

Although he was a very sweet and obedient dog, he was not for me. I am a big dog person, not a little dog person. I decided I would take him to a no-kill animal shelter on Saturday morning. This is when Stephen and his girlfriend told me they would take him. I think this was her secret plan to adopt him, but it did not work. The No Name dog was adopted today!

To my mother: I am sorry I took the dog home. I learned my lesson that I can barely take care of myself, and definitely not a dog. You are the best mom ever for putting up with all my stupid ideas, but when I heard "animal control," I couldn't let that little dog die. You raised me better than that to let innocent animals die, however, I will never do this again. (Unless a random, stray, boxer puppy walks up to my classroom door.)

Boys Through The Eyes of a 5 Year Old.

Disney always taught us that men were dreamy, wonderful, and prince charmings. What Disney always failed to tell us is that life is not a fairy tale. Luckily for me, I have 17 five year olds to give me the truth of boys, dating, and relationships. Things I have learned are:

1. Boys are supposed to buy girls things. These things can include rings, shoes, clothes, and jewelry. Most importantly, boys should buy girls ipod touches.
2. If you like a boy you should give him your milk at lunch. Clearly this makes sense because men need bigger muscles than women.
3. Boys do not need to hold doors for girls. "Miss Laskowski, she has hands! I am not a door holder."
4. If you are over 5 feet tall, you should have children. Not just one, either.
5. If you are a teacher (not an adult), you should be married. Adults do not need to be married because their parents are not married, but I am a teacher, so I should be married.
6. Justin Bieber songs will win a girl over.. no matter the age.